We have entered a difficult phase of life recently. My dear sweet doorway man has had all kinds of issues with finding a job...and keeping one. At first, it was learning experiences that were very frustrating. He learned with his first two jobs that you can't call in sick the second week of work. He has kept a security job that does large events for several months while looking for other more consistent work. But some weeks there are no hours. He just got signed on with another security company that does events, so that's going to be similar, I'm afraid. That's just it. I am afraid. Yesterday, we found out that because of my vast wealth and prosperity of my $30,000/year income and no savings or assets, he will now get a $700 month cut in his disability benefits. I've worked so hard the last ten years to restore my credit from the stupidity of my college financial decisions. It just sickens me to think that with the cut if we don't both find better income, we will be homeless in a few months and lose everything. Something has to give.
We have so far been doing things right and drawing from each other strength and support in tough times. We've gone from an adversarial approach of fear to reminding each other that we are a team and vowing to do whatever we have to to make our lives work. Marriage is a miracle, and God is revealing that to me more all the time. These trials are bringing both of us into oneness and revealing and stripping away our selfishness. It's a different journey for me. I'm so thankful for this man that God gave me.
I don't want to be afraid. I want to walk in confidence in God's provision and know that my husband is seeing his heavenly father come through for him in ways that others have failed him.
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